Mark Twain Quotes

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards

Mark Twain

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Mark Twain

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.

Mark Twain

I deal with temptation by yielding to it

Mark Twain

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Mark Twain

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.

Mark Twain

December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, Aprll, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February.

Mark Twain

Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its only sure defense.

Mark Twain

Fortune knocks at every man's door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighboring saloon and does not hear her.

Mark Twain

Editor is a critic. He has pulled out his carving-knife and his tomahawk and is starting after a book which he is going to have for breakfast.

Mark Twain

There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity\'s mind and were willing to reveal it.

Mark Twain

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Mark Twain

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.

Mark Twain

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

Mark Twain

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.

Mark Twain